Bus Stop Bedtime

Welcome to your latest update on the idiotic world of Jon Bellwood. This morning I woke up on a bus stop bench using my shoe as a pillow, I don’t believe this to be a good thing; the weather was rather pleasant though, so not all bad.

So when I last left you it was Thursday evening, I headed out from work to Coles with a fellow teacher, so we could hold hands and walk round Coles while throwing tampons and shower gel packets at each other. Yes we are both very mature. I followed this up by introducing her to the spectacular 30 cent ice cream from McDonalds, a wonderful thing.

The rest of Thursday as I remember was quite uninspiring, I read some Harry Potter and prepped for my speaking and writing tests with my class the next day, eek! So Friday morning went down well, my class did their tests and I also managed to get my flights to Melbourne booked, March the 6th is when I will be moving =)

The afternoon had an anticipatory feel for the barbecue on the night time, a lot of my students were set to leave class so it was promising to be a big one. It did not disappoint, we bought 4 cases of Tooheys Extra Dry and set about demolishing them in the hot sun.

A good time was had by all, but I had hit the alcohol too hard from the off and found myself staring over the precipice to monged at an early stage in the evening. I managed to teeter on this brink for a number of hours, making it from the beach to the bar and then I went over.

I have a vague recollection of my, as usual, spectacularly shit “dancing” and then I remember being thrown out of the bar, probably for my excessively shit dancing, I then remember talking to the policeman outside who agreed that I was a little bit worse for wear and had a bit of banter with me, nice chap!

I then found myself stuck in Manly with no ferry or etc to get home with, so in my infinite (lack of) wisdom I decided it would be a good idea to sleep on a bench at a bus stop, this infact was not a grand idea. I woke up hugging my shoe which I was using as a makeshift pillow.

I checked my person, my bag wasn’t with me, not a good thing, it has in it (wherever it is) a full change of clothes, my shoes, my broken camera, a copy of Harry Potter IV from the library and other assorted bits. It also has the papers I’m supposed to mark for Monday. Shit.

I found that, to my great relief I could see more than 3 metres away so at least I hadn’t lost my glasses, I was also still in possession of my wallet, but not my keys or phone. I also had only the one shoe that I had been using as a pillow, where was the other?

I went for a wander in the hope of finding some of my things again, I did come across one shoe, which also had my keys in it, however despite checking with the bar where I’m pretty sure I left my bag and the local police station I found nothing else. My hope is that one of my students picked my bag up for me, fingers crossed.

I do appreciate the irony that I’m meant to be a teacher and I was the one getting chucked out of the bar, a good example for my students, no? I take some solace in the fact most of them are older than me but I can be a right old spaz sometimes.

However after going through the whole “I’m never drinking again” routine this morning my head has cleared and I just think you have to enjoy life and I think going out for a beer is part of that, now I would prefer that I never found myself in quite these states but I guess if you play with fire sometimes you are going to get burned.

My embarrassment was aided further when as I headed to get the ferry I ran into a couple of IH students, they looked wide-eyed at my predicament and agreed with my assessment that I am an utter fool, and quite right that is lol!

I managed to get back to the flat and have spent most of the day so far in bed, which thankfully was much more comfier than the bus stop bench had been. Now here I am, sans phone and everything else, I need to stop costing myself a fortune but what are you gonna do eh?

Now I’m heading to Wagamama’s with Dean, pray that one of my students has my bag and that my phone will turn up please and do try not to be quite as drunken or idiotic as me, its not the best idea really 😛

Love and Bus Stops

J. Xx

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